Markasaurus

In light of all the bad economic news over the past week, I’ve put together a list of common-sense tips you can follow to prepare for the worst.

1. Purchase a large wheelbarrow to carry around currency. You’ll need it when our money becomes so devalued you have to bring a suitcase of twenties to pay for your groceries.
2. Learn how to grow your own food and teach your pets to fend for themselves.
3. Start stockpiling ammunition and canned goods. You’ll need to defend your stash when marauding hoards find out you were prepared.
4. Start a secret society with special handshakes and secret codes. I’m not sure exactly how this will be beneficial, but I don’t think it could hurt.
5. Buy a bike (if you don’t already have one) and enough supplies to fix it for years  to come. This will come in handy since you won’t be able to buy gasoline anywhere.
6. Quit smoking now, unless you can grow your own tobacco.
7. Move somewhere that has an adequate supply of fresh water, like the Great Lakes.

If anyone has any additions to this list, feel free to add them below in the comments.

Exterminator’s Window

While I probably have more to say about my weekend trip to Ohio than what is summed up in this photo, I found it very amusing that these exterminators thought it would be good marketing to make a display of stuffed animals having a picnic. Exactly the same types of animals they specialize in killing. If you are ever walking up High Street in Columbus, be sure to take a look.

I suppose it isn’t much worse than having a talking chicken in an ad for fried chicken…

Hockey. It’s the sport most people in the United States associate with the page after the high school volleyball scores in the sports section of the paper (unless you live somewhere like Detroit, Buffalo, Minnesota or Alaska). It’s the most exciting sport on earth, and loved by our enlightened neighbors to the north in Canada. It is also, unfortunately, loved by John McCain’s running mate and avowed “hockey mom” Sarah Palin.

Levi Johnston, father of Sarah Pallin's daughter Bristol's baby

I fear that from this moment forward people will picture Gov. Palin’s gum-chewing family and think of things like oil drilling in national parks and pregnant 17 year-olds with high school dropout boyfriends every time they hear the word “hockey”.

I don’t have a problem with young people wanting to have babies. It does seem a fitting though that Palin made abstinence-only education in public schools a central issue during her political career, only to have her 17 year old unmarried daughter get pregnant.

In any case, if you are going to picture someone when you hear the word “hockey,” try to picture this guy instead:

Wayne Gretzky, The Great One