Typical presentation of Vegetarian Pasta Chicken Finger Surprise

Do to popular demand, the recipe corner is back. To make today’s delicious meal, you will need:

• Whatever pasta you can find in your kitchen.
• A can of pasta sauce or tomato puree
• Frozen vegetables (it doesn’t matter what type they are)
• Feta cheese
• Vegetarian chicken fingers (frozen) from Trader Joe’s

Put the frozen vegetables in a pan on the stove with a little water and cook until they aren’t frozen but before they are burning. Pour in pasta sauce and continue heating.

While this is on the stove, put the chicken fingers in the toaster oven for the amount of time recommended on the box. You should also cook the pasta- it doesn’t matter if it is all the same type of pasta.

Pour the pasta on to plates and smother with sauce/vegetables. Crumble Feta on top. Take chicken fingers out of the toaster oven and arrange artfully on the plate.

MMMMM! Dinner’s ready!

Oh, and in case you live in the SF Bay Area, there is a WIND ADVISORY!!!

…WIND ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 5 AM PDT THURSDAY…

NORTHWEST WINDS WILL CONTINUE TO INCREASE TODAY…REACHING SUSTAINED SPEEDS OF AROUND 35 MPH WITH GUSTS OVER 45 MPH EXPECTED. WINDS THIS STRONG CAN MAKE DRIVING DIFFICULT… ESPECIALLY FOR HIGH PROFILE VEHICLES. USE EXTRA CAUTION.

PERIODS OF STRONG WINDS WILL CONTINUE IN THE HILLS AND AT THE COAST THROUGH THE END OF THE WEEK. CONTINUE TO MONITOR THE LATEST WEATHER UPDATES FROM THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF ADDITIONAL WIND ADVISORIES OR HIGH WIND WARNINGS.

My Bratz Balloon is on the floor

You know your birthday is finally over when the Bratz balloon your friend gave you finally sinks to the floor. This happened over the weekend, during the tail end of the Great Heat Wave of ‘08 (please do not confuse this with “Death Storm ‘08″). My balloon, which just a few short weeks ago adorned a piece of tasty carrot cake, now rests on the floor.

Andy told me that this present was the key to everlasting life when he gave it to me. I have to admit, it lasted a very long time for a helium balloon. Now I can take the rest of the air out and hang the picture of the “Bratz” up on my wall! Or maybe not…

And now, some sad news about Markasaurus.com. A spammer hacked my header file and put many unsavory search terms at the beginning of my blog. It was hidden to the casual user, but it showed up in search results, and Markasaurus.com got booted off the search rankings on Google! What a travesty! Some spammer is preventing people from finding an important source of breaking news, all to sell a few bottles of counterfeit erectile dysfunction medicine. I corrected the issue and the site should show up in search results again soon. How would people have known not to lock their pets and babies in their cars during the heat wave if it weren’t for Markasaurus? This site saves lives!

Screenshot from my Google homepage.

Here is the latest! Don’t put your dog and baby in the car trunk!!!

…EXCESSIVE HEAT WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 8 PM PDT THIS EVENING…

THIS EXCESSIVE HEAT WARNING IS BEING ISSUED UTILIZING THE NEW HEAT HEALTH WARNING SYSTEM. IT IS SPECIFIC TO THE AREAS INCLUDED IN THIS HEAT WARNING. IT IS TARGETED AT THE ELDERLY OR INFIRMED…WHO MIGHT BE MUCH MORE SENSITIVE TO HEAT AND THUS AT GREATER RISK. INDIVIDUALS WHO FALL INTO THIS CATEGORY SHOULD BE ESPECIALLY CAREFUL BY DRINKING PLENTY OF WATER AND SEEKING A COOLER LOCATION FOR THE DAY IF NO AIR CONDITIONING IS AVAILABLE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT FRIENDS OR RELATIVES CHECK FREQUENTLY ON THOSE WHO MIGHT BE PRONE TO HEAT SENSITIVITY.

ALSO…NEVER LEAVE CHILDREN…ELDERLY OR PETS UNATTENDED IN ENCLOSED VEHICLES…EVEN FOR A SHORT TIME. TEMPERATURES QUICKLY RISE TO LIFE- THREATENING LEVELS EVEN WHEN THE WINDOWS ARE PARTIALLY OPENED.

Kaati, not eating a bird

the office cat kills a bird in the courtyard and eats it next to your chair. No thanks Kaati, I’m not that hungry. You go ahead and finish it yourself.

Handwriting Analysis, near the corner of 9th and Lincoln. 

I spotted this sign on Lincoln Blvd. today on the way in to Golden Gate Park. A handwriting analysis office? I’m intrigued. Even more intriguing: they aren’t on yelp.com yet. If you have had your handwriting analyzed at DaHil’s, now’s your chance to be the “first to review.”

On a side note, did anyone else catch “Desperate Housewives” tonight? I was drinking a 16 oz. can of Bud Light on the couch with the cat and couldn’t help but be fascinated by the insane number of plot twists the writers managed to pack into one episode. Phew. I need to go to bed.

Yesterday (April 23rd) was my 30th birthday. While some people fear this occasion, I was not particularly dreading it. I had a small gathering with some friends at the Dovre Club on Valencia Street in San Francisco. My friend Rob thought to bring a piñata, which is becoming a tradition for him.

Foods Co., Rob’s normal source for piñatas, was out of stock (Foods Co. is a discount grocery store where you can get a box of faux-Mexican cookies for that will feed desert to 60 people for $2.99 and you can get great deals on nearly-expired bread) so he had to go elsewhere and purshase a Sesame Street Piñata with streamers. This was fine, because I like streamers, and the candy tastes the same either way.

We couldn’t find anywhere to safely hang it inside the bar, so Rob rigged it up to the street-crossing sign out front, which happened to be in front of a very photogenic mini-backhoe. I managed to bust the piñata open after about four whacks, and everyone (by everyone, I mean my friend Andy while everyone else stood at the side and stared at the filthy sidewalk) rushed in and took their pickings from the selection of suckers and chocolate. Despite the razor-sharp staples that were protruding out of the sides of the piñata (watch out kids!) a good time was had by all- even though I am now officially “old.”

More photos here, if you dare.

Okay, I admit I’m posting this a bit late. I have been really busy and we actually had some hot weather for the first time in about a year last weekend, so I haven’t been blogging. Last week, Caltrans (the California department of transportation) threw a festive gathering in front of my office to celebrate the new overpass that has been under construction on the other side of the wall at my office for the last year. They call it the “West Approach” because it is the west approach to the San Francisco Bay Bridge. The Governator showed up, but nobody actually saw him. He pulled up in an SUV on the overpass, out of site of the party, and gave a speech the was telecast to people standing on the ground about 200 feet away. Following the speech he drove away. It was completely surreal. Then, they served really awful (free) food including vegetarian baked beans that tasted like wet packing peanuts. Oh, and cupcakes. Sweet, delicious blue and orange cupcakes. Unfortunately the frosting melted instantly in the sun. Special thanks to my friend Angela and her iPhone for the photos.

As you may be able to see in this blurry photo I borrowed from the CNN website (and they apparently got it from the local KRON4 helicopter) the infamous Olympic Torch struggled to make its way through San Francisco today. While thousands of people on all sides of the China issue were gathered at the baseball stadium and the waterfront downtown (the official route), the Torch was being secretly run through several of the most unsuspecting parts of the city accompanied by the Bay Quackers Bus. What is this bus, you ask? It is a duck-themed amphibious tour bus for tourists. Thank God they upheld the dignity of the Olympics. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to cancel the whole thing before it even started?

You can check out my photos from the protests at flickr.

A while back, I wrote a post with some advice on how to feed medicine to your cat. I now have realized that if your cat is determined not to take the pill, it isn’t going to happen. Javier is on steroids (long story) and he’s decided that he is not going to let us feed him medicine any more. No amount of water or rubbing his throat is going to change that.

Now, on the cell phone saga. My Samsung phone from T-Mobile is on its last legs. The screen was damaged a while back and there is this black nothingness spreading across it. I can barely read the phone number I am about to dial, and I get the feeling that one of these days it isn’t going to work at all. It lost its charge today, so I panicked and decided that I had to get a new phone. The problem is that I don’t want to renew my contract, so I don’t want to get my phone at the T-Mobile store. T-Mobile blows (to put it mildly), and there is no way in Hell I am signing another contract with them.

I went on Craigslist, my favorite place to shop for things, and found a place in the Mission District of San Francisco that claimed to be selling inexpensive used cell phones. It is on Mission St., which is the sort of busy city thoroughfare where you can buy Ecstasy or crack at two in the afternoon, shop at a dollar store, catch a bus, buy cheap socks, get really good tacos, enjoy a drink, and purchase a neon Last Supper themed wall clock. It is also really filthy and there are tons of pigeons. Oh, and I used to live there. Anyway, I called the cell phone guy and he said he had some used phones. He also said that when I get there I should either call and let him know I’m there (duh, no cell phone!) or “knock on the window.”

I took the BART train over to the neighborhood and walked two blocks to the store. Actually, I walked past the store and then turned around and realized that it looked like it had gone out of business. There is plywood over the door and the metal security gate was closed. I knocked (hard) on the window three or four times a face appeared as the curtain at the back of the display window parted. The owner let me in to a small, dark space with leather jackets (all for sale) hanging up the height of the left wall and glass cases under the counter filled with cell phones in the middle of the store. There was also a work bench covered in electronic gear and a number of computers.

All of the phones were heavily used and most had minimal features and sold for $40-$60. I asked why I wouldn’t just go on ebay or craigslist or buy a phone there that was newer and probably cost less. He said I should buy from him because it was a reputable store. Plus, he doesn’t charge sales tax.

I told him I’d have to think about it.